You Might Be In Asskatchewan

Mischief Is Important 36 Comments

National Post;

Railroad worker David Assman (pronounced OSS-men) of Melville, Sask., first tried to put his last name on a licence plate in the 1990s, but had it rejected as “profanity.” A recent application was again denied on the grounds that his last name is “offensive, suggestive or not in good taste.”
 
“I think they are too worried that people are going to have hurt feelings about something that is complete nonsense,” Assman told the National Post by direct message. “Even if it wasn’t my last name who is it going to hurt?”
 
Saskatchewan Government Insurance, like all provincial authorities in charge of vanity licence plates, kiboshes any applications that have a whiff of sexuality, drug reference, politics or religiosity.

Huh. Ok, then…

Har.

36 Replies to “You Might Be In Asskatchewan”

  2. Well, you want government in charge of what you eat, what you drive, how you drive, how long you can idle your car, what you say, your electricity, your natural gas, your roads, your education, your health, your garbage, what you can throw out, what you can’t, what you can or cannot do on your own property, …

    Of course it is going to turn out exactly the way you want.

    If you cannot have a backyard fire, then does private property even exist in Canada. You don’t own the sidewalk, yet you pay fines when you do not shovel it.

    You have exactly the crown corporations, the state broadcasters, the politicians, the CSA, the law un-enforcing in Wascana Park police, that you deserve.

    1. “your own” property, were do git such schitt??? There is no such things as property rights in kanadar, you have rite to use, not own

  4. Yea, this…
    And Why is SGI allowed to write provincial Highway Legislation? Aren’t they an insurance company, not government?

    2. SGI is monolithic. They are involved in all aspects of drivers lives. They have I think the largest building in Regina.

      For example when you get a speeding ticket it is immediately reported to SGI. They control the issuance of your drivers license.

      They operate phoney save wildlife programs. For example they determined there were too many animal/vehicle collisions so they instituted a program to, ‘save a buck’. Billboards appeared all over the province designed to ‘save a buck’ which featured a deer in the headlights. The program was ostensibly aimed at saving wildlife but was really aimed at fewer collisions. SJW.

      One of their brokers showed me a catalogue of merchandise SGI offers to brokers to use as promotional items. All of it is adorned with SGI logos. It’s the usual golf shirts, bags and give-away items. The catalogue is the size of an Eaton’s mail order model! I kid you not. WTF is SGI doing? Isn’t that the job of the private sector?

      SGI is out of control. Distorting the marketplace…but hey it’s one of Saskatchewans crown jewels.

    3. “…Aren’t they an insurance company, not government?”

      They are an insurance company and the government. It’s a corruption so insidious and fundamental that people working in SGI can’t see and understand it. They are doing it for the good of “the people” so any inconvenience, constraint, cost or even harm to a mere person is justfiable.

      Personally, I would never want a “vanity” plate because it’s vain, and I don’t like them, but that’s not a reason why anyone else should be denied one. Considering this particular example, I would tend to think less of someone if I saw their plate “Assman” and probably say harrumph to myself in my car, but if SGI had reasoned that since Mr. Assman has to live with his name being mispronounced all his life we can indulge him in his vanity plate, they’d be right.

  5. He sure peppered his tail gate!

    Also I’m pretty sure no one is going to steal that truck.

    Randomly I saw Aryan on a vanity plate in Alberta two days ago. I was wondering how that got by the NDP.

  8. And then there was the fellow in Ontario who wanted a vanity plate that read WOMEN. After some bureaucratic review, it was agreed that the word wasn’t offensive in and of itself and he was granted his plate which of course reads:

    ONTARIO
    WOMEN
    YOURS TO DISCOVER

  9. BEST comment to the NP story …

    He should file a human rights complaint with the provincial human rights commission. They are denying a plate based on his ethnic background.

  10. About 15 years back,David Letterman became so obsessed by the fact there was a guy named “Assman’ in Regina,I think he was a gas station owner, he joked about him on his show for weeks,then actually had the guy on his show.

    The great sophisticated New Yorkers showed they really were just a bunch of sniggering 12 year olds who couldn’t get over a strange name, Austrian I believe.

    Were I filthy rich, I would pay a black guy to apply for a licence plate with you-know-what on it.

    Words hurt! They can be fatal. sigh

  11. I seem to remember a Seinfeld episode about a guy with ‘Assman’ personalized plates. The character was a proctologist. I think it may have been based on a real doctor.

  12. If these license plate censors are so astute why did they allow this Alberta plate in Red Deer – “LDYMNCHR” ?

  16. Possibly offense to some. (Read on the Internet, so caveat emptor.)
    Apparently, a couple in California both got vanity plates and they parked side by side in their driveway.
    His was CUNNI
    Hers LINGUS
    So shoot me.

  17. Mirror back Assman.
    sortawitte – I just “dropped trou” in honor of Mr. Assman. Now, I can never go back to Walmart. Funny!

  18. Ontario is just as bad. When I tried to sign up for an internet subscription with the Lottery & Gaming Corp. I tried to use “gaylord”
    for my ID. Turned it down flat. I protested claiming it was middle name and quite legitimate. Told the broad that there’s a Gaylord Perry ( pro golfer) and the community of Gaylord Michigan. No such luck. I finally told her to self-fornicate and hung up.

    1. A small correction, Gaylord Perry pitched in the Big Leagues of baseball for 22 years. Won more than 300 games, career ERA in the very low 3’s. Hall of Famer. Kenny Perry was a long time and quite successful PGA tour pro.

      Regarding the text on the tailgate (heh) — so am I.

  19. Why do people want to get personalized license plates?
    A license plate is an ugly, government stamp on a beautiful work of art and a symbol of freedom which is the automobile. It is reminder that the fekcing state can take away your right to mobility at a whim of a scumbag bureaucrat.
    Demanding a personalized license plate is like demanding a reach around from a rapist.

    1. I have my own personalized license plates which happen to be my amateur radio callsign. By law, radio amateurs can use their callsigns for that purpose, at least in Alberta and B. C., because we are members of a government-regulated communications service.

      It cost me only a small administration fee to have my new plates issued, but I had to present my certificate to show that my callsign was valid.

      As it turns out, it’s provided me with opportunities to meet hams in person that I might not have spoken with on the air.

  21. Heh … remember, sometimes in the late 1990’s of early 2000’s Letterman got so fascinated by his name that he invited Assman on his show. I watched it.

  22. You could get STUDYHARD and amuse yourself by covering up either end from time to time.

  24. one of THE most offensive vanity plates I saw was at the 700 club hqts at the intersection of QEW & 403 in burlington.
    it was one of the honchos. guy whatsisname, attached to a cadillac.

    must be a lucrative BUSINESS that ‘ol time religion is good enough for me, gimme dat ol time religion’ etc

    I promised myself that if I ever got into the hi I/C bracket I would NEVER spend a plug nickel on such.
    there are dozens of organization need the $ more than the fcukin gubbamint.

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