Shiny Little Pill

Well, wasn’t that clever? And most everyone thought Morissette was making a statement about censorship in the US. Even Drudge – Morissette, hosting Canada’s annual music awards, said the stunt, in which she appeared in a provocative skin-hugging body-suit was intended to expose US “censorship.” and quotes her as saying “They’re in an era when they’re scared, when there’s lots of fear.” I’m sure she said something to that effect. (I didn’t really pay attention, as I was getting up to turn it off.)

But, of course, the tit ‘n bush suit wasn’t about censorship at all. It was about the number one source of angst in Canada – that peculiar inferiority complex we have about our cousins to the south, that we’ve code-named “Canadian identity”.
You see, Alanis Morrisette would still be playing shopping malls if it weren’t for the American market. Nickelback would be slogging the bar scene in Vancouver. Avril Lavigne would be catching the bus to her job at Wendy’s. (And they’d make her tie back that hair.)
One cannot become a bona fide Canadian superstar without gaining the approval of the USA. Not that the Americans give a damn – we do. Nobody cares about Canadian bands if they haven’t had a gig on the Grammys or scored a number one song – a chart topper makes us positively giddy. It just kills these people to admit it.
So, chubby little smirk, desperate to prove she isn’t one of them, (though of course, we all are) – decides that dressing up in Spandex and throwing a little hypocrisy around is the way to make a statement about Canadian superiority. That’s right. Not censorship at all. Throwing off a bathrobe in a faux moment of exposure makes us better than you.
Should be good for about a week of smug.
Don’t believe me? Try mentioning that “only the Europeans and the French” wear visors on their hockey helmets during a CBC Hockey Night In Canada broadcast. Then, get back to me about the freedom of the Canadian airwaves.