In a stinging retort to criticisms levied by the lowlife Swift Boat Veterans, who claim that John Kerry-Heinz’s heroic Vietnam record is fabricated, the Massachusetts-based Wealthy Swift Yacht Veterans will unveil a commercial in which they maintain that Kerry-Heinz is a “jolly good fellow” and a “dapper gentleman indeed.”
The ad features three white-haired men dressed in sailor hats, cravats, gold chains, gold Rollex watches, with blue, anchor-lapelled blazers; all of the men are sipping cognac, and two of them smoke pipes. They all claim to be Wealthy Swift Yacht Veterans who knew Kerry-Heinz during his “uproarious” days at their exclusive yacht club.
Highlights from the ad include:
“I had the pleasure of making Master Kerry-Heinz�s acquaintance on many a jovial occasion,” claims Beauregard Kendalson, ” and I say with full confidence that Kerry-Heinz cares about the little people, even Negroes.”
“In the summer of �72 John and I took the yacht to Lisbon,” says Jacob Allen Reimschneider in between sips of cognac, “we were alone … at sea … for three months … and there was … surprisingly little … homosexual activity. That bespeaks … determination and leadership to me.”
[…]
A spokesman for President Bush says that the ad is “disingenuous,” and that, “John Kerry-Heinz is letting the Wealthy Swift Yacht Captains do his blue-blood work for him.”
