Well, I must admit I like this a lot better than the free heroin treatment approach…
A group of Russian scientists has suggested caning as a treatment for those who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction as well as depression and suicidal tendencies, the Izvestia daily reports.
The name of the report delivered at the international conference on new methods of treating addictions is �Pain affliction as a method of treatment for addictive behavior and other manifestations of non-vitalistic activity�. Scientists claim that drug addiction, alcoholism, suicidal behavior and psychosomatic disorders are all caused by a lack of zest for life. When a patient is caned, the body starts producing endorphins � happiness hormones � and life seems attractive again.
Doc, I feel so much better when it stops!
The scientists claim the effect of the treatment is even greater if a patient is caned by a doctor of the opposite sex.
Or a nurse in black leather.
I experience great pain when I pay my taxes, and it never feels good.That’s all the flagellation I want in my life.
Will the CBC begin to promote the theraputic benefits of corporal punishment?
I believe my father was years ahead of those fellows. I remember when caught me igniting some electric lettuce and he informed that he would beat me with in an inch of my life if he ever caught me again. I remember feeling a great sense of relief, nay almost ecstasy to still be alive. His treatment program definitely had an effect on my future decisions when dealing with those urges.
PolSpy triva #83: when Sean sobered up back in ’92 he discovered that he owed over $5,000.00 for some crank he obtained from one evil mutha of a biker named ‘Pork Chop’.
PolSpy triva #122: 13 years later, Sean is still clean and sober and Pork Chop was paid the monies owed from the proceeds of Sean’s three legitimate jobs (chef, baker, and dishwasher at the time).
I fully concur that the threat of excruciating pain being inflicted by a person decked out in black leather works wonders on an addictive personality.
I’m just trying to figure out how I would BILL for that. Can you be on-call for the caning service? Is there such a thing as a caning emergency? (“Doctor, it’s Angelina Jolie on the phone, and she says she’s falling off the wagon!”)
The mind boggles…
“Doctor, it’s Angelina Jolie on the phone, and she says she’s falling off the wagon!”
…and right onto your cane, Dr. Monger?
This comment thread is rapidly devolving into my high-school locker room.
Damn! How come I never get asked to participate in a fun research project like this one?
Thanks for the belly laughs. I’m going to clean up my keyboard now.
Russian scientists?
Lysenko…. Pavlov…. Ivan the Terrible…
I wont have that treatment unless its covered. I wonder if it would be classed as physiotherapy ?Hmmmm …just had a thought….. nevermind .
I’ve got to chuckle! Haven’t you heard of BDSM and its advocates? TPE (total power exchange)? Consensual slavery? It’s out there and it works. The mainstream snide remarks and the wink-wink-nod-nod I don’t want to know but let’s just laugh at them attitude of self aggrandizement is just blindfolding the Devil in the dark. The other side of the coin is sometime brighter than the one you are looking at! I have found the cane to be an extremely valuable tool and I firmly believe that if we brought back the lash there would be a serious decline in crime.