Partisan Iced Tea

Has AdScam got you all heated up? Going ape over the Grewal Tapes? What you need is a nice, cold, glass of home-brewed iced tea.

Ingredients:

1 gallon (4 litres) of cold water
5 orange pekoe tea bags
1/2 cup (125 ml) lemon juice
1 cup (250 ml) sugar

Directions:

Find a one gallon container (an old glass pickle jar works just fine) and fill it with one gallon of water and add the five tea bags. Put the lid on the jar and place it out in direct sunlight for ten hours where it can cook like Scott Brison during Question Period.

Once the tea has brewed, add the lemon juice and sugar. Chill and serve.

Partisan modifications:

Liberals: Double the sugar if you’re serving it to someone else. Gotta sweeten ’em up if they’re gonna vote for you, right?

Conservatives: Double the lemon juice to one cup so that it’s extra sour in keeping with your party’s dour reputation.

Greens: Substitute green tea for orange pekoe, raw organic sugar for the white granulated crud, and make sure the lemon juice is fresh squeezed from an organic lemon. Don’t forget to compost the tea bags and lemon rinds afterwards or David Suzuki will show up on your doorstep and give you a Wet Willie.

Dippers: Card carrying NDP members are welcome to modify the recipe however they see fit so long as they remember to shoplift all the ingredients. Remember, you’re doing your patriotic duty by sticking it to the Capitalist Oppressors.

Bloc Heads: Paul Martin says we can’t consort with separatists, so no tea for you. Bugger off and go be ‘distinct’ somewhere else.

7 Replies to “Partisan Iced Tea”

  1. “It still tastes sour and bitter to me. I am sorry…”
    Contrary to what Joe Clark says, the PC party is dead, so you don’t get your own modification.

  2. “…Bugger off and go be ‘distinct’ somewhere else.”
    That is hilarious! Thanks Sean, you made my day.

  3. So describe for us, Mr. Harper, the next Canada. A country of diverse and strong regions united by common purpose. A nation of fiscal responsibility and compassion, brimming with enough confidence to be a world leader in innovation, creativity and international solution-building.
    Paint that multi-hued, vibrant picture for us. Or stand aside for someone who can.
    Librano$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
    L. Cornies, LFP.
    So what’s your big hurry? Had enough of AdScam Chretien/Martin?
    Hurry up and wait, L. Cornies.
    Why ya impatient?
    Ya don’t like waiting lists at the MRI clinics?
    Yer knee broken? Try praying?
    Go to Medisys; that is Payola Martin’s private clinic/doctor. Can’t afford the gas to ta get there? It’s just 6 hours from London, Ont. Hitch-hike.
    Stephen Harper is a cool Conservative.
    Stay cool with Coolidge, L. Cornies.

  4. Liberals face more key votes
    by Romeo St. Martin
    [PoliticsWatch Updated 2:00 p.m. June 10, 2005]
    OTTAWA � The government will face another confidence test in the House on Tuesday when a vote is held on the main estimates.
    If the Liberals lose the vote, then the government will fall and Canadians will be back at the polls.
    However, what is different than the last confidence vote that was held on May 19 is that the two opposition parties who were trying to take down the government appear to be in no mood for a repeat performance.
    The wind has been taken out of the Conservative party’s sails after they failed to topple the government while riding high in the polls on sponsorship anger. Conservative Leader Stephen Harper toned down his rhetoric this week when meeting with reporters and said the only way the government would be taken down is if Liberal MPs who voted with the government last month change their minds.
    And the Bloc Quebecois is facing an uncertain future following last weekend’s resignation of Parti Quebecois Leader Bernard Landry. Bloc Leader Gilles Duceppe is at the top of the list to replace Landry and is scheduled to announce his plans on Monday.
    politicswatch.com
    Librano$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ source.
    Tell it to AdScam Martin; he does both, according to informed sources at CSL.
    Stephen Harper is cool.
    Stay cool with Coolidge.

  5. This sour, bitter, synthetic or sickly saccharine partisan concoction will never replace the true quenching power of a real beer, bought honestly with ones own labor, in the company of true friends on a hot day.
    Let’s not ever compare the sleaze and synthetic guarantees of OTTawa culture to genuine uncomplicated human pleasures…they are mutually exclusive.

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