Honey, I Finished The Internet – small dead animals

9 Replies to “Honey, I Finished The Internet”

The swearing must have been something! Reminds me of a quote from the old Pogo Possum comic strip, “The very air was blued”
Fortunately, the story ended about as well as it could, under the circumstances.

We have Dyson vacuums. The first Dyson we bought had an optional attachment(there were 2 optional attachment groups), that had a rubbery fingered attachment that approximated a particular dog brush that we already owned which has little tiny rubber fingers.(we actually own 3 of these rubber dog brushes, not Dyson attachments, one of these rubber dog brushes I personally use for my head in the shower, it’s a rubbery brush and it works so good and feels that good on my head)
I told the Dyson sales woman that if she had ever owned a dog, that no self-respecting dog would ever allows itself to be touched by such a fresh-Hell as the Dyson attachment embodied.
Anyway, my bulldog would kill a Roomba inside of 1 minute.
(only one dog toy that I have ever found lasts more than 30 seconds with him)
I really think that vacuum cleaners emit a sound frequency that is inaudible to the human ear.
This vacuum sound is such a keening, that to dog ears, the vacuum is imploring to be killed and put out of it’s and everyone else’s misery, …particularly the dog’s misery.
(in case someone thinks bulldogs can be trained like any other dog, I should state now that bulldogs are born with OCD and it is empirically truly incurable, particularly in the bully breeds)
My bulldog, being a really all around good guy, is sympathetic and compliant to this sound he hears from many household appliances, but from vacuums in particular, which to him is a suicide plea that he hears from vacuum cleaners and aggressively complies with.
We have baby gates that we put up in our home whenever we vacuum.
(he really hates the coffee bean grinder too)

I’ve always figured vacuum cleaners must be female, what with house cleaning being woman’s work and all.

That was hilarious — one of the best laughs I’ve had for a while — showing my rather warped sense of humour.

Oz – get a lacrosse ball for your dog, they are indestructable. My dog doesn’t worry about the sound of the vacuum cleaner but he suspects the hose is really a boa constrictor and won’t go near it.

Thanks, Aviator. I have 3 dogs and they all think the hoses are snakes. Really they act like all power lines are snakes and won’t cross them and avoid them.
My OEB(bulldog) prefers Tug as a game. We eventually found a particular toy that lasts as long as I’m always there on the other end.
https://www.amazon.ca/Tuffy-Ultimate-Tug-O-War-Bones-Yellow/dp/B000L4398K/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1471522328&sr=8-1&keywords=Tuffy+Tug+o+War+dog+large+tug+toys
Left alone he kills those fast too.
We bought a whole case of these tugs, they can last a month.
He also chases and retrieves these Chuckit!s at the park.
https://images.jet.com/md5/cfb61b689531cf68b79e48f515765cdc.1500
I can throw Zip Flights a good 60 +yards and being the typical OEB, he chases them at full charge.
I always have to bring 2 and a towel along. Bulldog slobber factor quickly makes them hard to grip