Asteroid, Take Us Now

25 Replies to “Asteroid, Take Us Now”

1. It gives new meaning to the expression, “getting a woody”. Oaxaca, Mexico is home to the international headquarters of the Forest Stewardship Council, a certification scheme originally devised to prevent illegal logging (among other things) but turned out to be a corrupt vehicle for ENGOs to attempt to control forestry worldwide. The FSC makes the CSA look like angels by comparison.

2. Don’t forget that one of Red Rachel’s lackeys, Tzeporah Berman, established her reputation as a professional s**t disturber by spiking trees in Clayoquot Sound.
   She wasn’t just interested in disrupting the incomes of loggers, she wanted to injure them.

3. Humans exhale C02 as part of normal respiration.
   C02 is necessary for photosynthesis. It’s a source of carbon, a sort of plant food.
   So if those women want to assist their groom, the tree, to grow and be healthy.
   They could exhale on it/him/her … whatever.
   Though she might be hit with a carbon tax for doing so.
   Mexican women marrying trees to save the wood…
   So how many wives can a tree have? Like a harem or up to four like the…?
   Just inquiring for a tall friend of mine.
   P.S.- Oh, and is this going to come up as part of the NAFTA talks with Mexico?

4. Just mentioning
   “Increment borer”
   https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Increment_borer

5. Thank you for posting such a great article! I found your website perfect for my needs.
   It contains wonderful and helpful posts. Keep up the good work!

6. I predict treesexuals will be fighting custody battles over future saplings.

7. Thus, the answer to the eternal question: “What do you get the woman who has every cat?”

8. Oh sure, it all looks great for the forest now, but what about after the divorces when these women take half of everything.

9. You know I’ve had my eye on an absolutely gorgeous Acer Palmatum Dissectum down the street. Nice to know nuptials could be in our future. #HereComesTheTree

10. If it saves a man from marrying them we should encourage it.

11. I suspect that the women “marrying” trees don’t have a lot of men pursuing them for marriage.

12. They go for the tall, silent types?

13. How do they consummate the marriage?

14. A marriage isn’t valid until it is consummated, where are the pics, the tree sap soaked bed sheet?

15. Imagine the arguments about domestic issues, such as taking out the garbage or fixing that leaking faucet.
    Then there’s the issue of children. Suppose she wants them and the tree doesn’t?
    Oh, and what gender are those trees? What if one of them identifies as, say, cabbage?
    The problems of being a trunksexual…..

16. Thank you Kate for providing today’s Hilarity…and a shoult out to the great posts…LMAO..

17. Well … if we support and celebrate those who … branch out … into new “genders” … might as well celebrate this deviancy as well … shm

18. I suspect these unsuspecting trees are about to be gnawed down slowly to stumps by Mexican Beavers.

19. I have always liked to go out to my shop for a nice piece of ash.

20. ha ha ha !!!
    some fwench woman sought and GOT permission to marry her dead fiance.
    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2009/nov/17/french-woman-marries-dead-partner
    it was that point when I figured future marriage ‘partners’ would include:
    -rocks
    -plants (see above)
    -ghosts
    -huge numbers of persons all married to everyone in the group
    -distant planets and stars
    – works of art incl songs, paintings, sculptures,
    -family pets
    -gawd know what else
    sign of the times, sign of the times.

21. Indeed. It’s probably noteworthy that the first dildos were made out of wood.

22. @Oz “It’s probably noteworthy that the first dildos were made out of wood.”
    Now it all makes sense.

23. “ha ha ha !!!
    some fwench woman sought and GOT permission to marry her dead fiance.”
    As with so many modern progressive ideas (such as euthanasia, for example) the Nazis got there first: a German woman whose fiancé was killed at the front could still marry him in a special ceremony.

24. The real problem of allowing a women to marry her dead fiancé is two fold:
    a) it damages the concept of consent(people are known to get cold feet and flee the marriage ceremony and no feet are colder than the dead’s)
    b) marriage can confer upon the living; citizenship, an insurance payout, a pension either paid by a private corporation or a government widow’s pension(Alberta has one)
    Marriage is not simply about sentiment or religious compliance. Marriage exists to provide a stable home for children offspring.
    The dead do not procreate.(cue the Walking Dead)/ Yeah. Fantasy.

25. “Nazis got there first: a German woman whose fiancé was killed at the front could still marry him in a special ceremony.”
    The Nazis really knew how to manipulate feelings. Their propaganda was the best at that time in history. If they had put all of the Deutschmarks that they put into their war machine into selling TVs(they had the most TVs in the World) selling TVs across the world and putting their propaganda out there, they could have actually taken over the world.
    And they would have gotten all of their Deutschmarks back because they would OWN the world of TV and all of the money they could get from advertising. The could have then gotten so many countries onside(they were internationally admired until they started to invade other nations) and they would have only had to fight Russia.